Tuesday, August 23, 2005

I did it. With Ginger and 2.5 mg Xanax, I survived an enclosed MRI and MRA for what seemed like a zillion hours, but was probably more like 1.5 total. And as an added bonus, I semi-recovered from my deeply drugged state long enough to eat an entire entree for dinner. That was my first full meal in weeks. Of course I felt bad later, but for about 2 hours it was fine. Guess the Xanax wore off an my stomach woke up? hee hee

So today I called and begged to see the neurologist earlier than 9/1. Said what ever it is that's going on with me is interfering with my daily life and I can't afford to go to the ER (which was the nurses suggestion). After telling her I would come to the clinic and sit all day to get worked in, she suddenly found an opening Thursday at 2:20! Amazing! Now, the anxiety begins all over again. Maybe this is all in my head (as in psycho-somatic), maybe I'm craving attention! OMG. But the nausea continues. I remain apathetic, confused and can't organize sometimes and life goes on. I am relatively certain something is wrong with my brain/body. I am also relatively certain it's not life-threatening. This will all go away and my life will slowly return to normal and we will barely be able to recall it five years from now :)

BEACH. We leave for the BEACH in a few more weeks. Blessed sun, sand, salt and silence. Now if the construction weren't going on in the background we'd have the later, but alas, the island is still recovering from the wretched Ivan who took our month at the beach and reduced it to 3 weather-channel-obsessed-days and our beach home to nothing more than pictures and memories. And, irony of ironies, guess what my Neurologist's name is? Yep, Ivan. From the Ukraine. Gotta love fate. She's got a wicked sense of humor.

So, hope for a solid diagnosis on Thursday. I don't care what, just a definitive diagnosis. Being the bizarre knitter that I am. I have decided to "reward" myself after Thursday's appointment with a hat made from this http://tinyurl.com/9rqpj or this http://tinyurl.com/djrxf because this yarn begs to be near my skin. And after enduring months of waiting (Ginger says this would have been "over" long ago if I whined more) I think I deserve a piece of decadent luxury like a cashmere beanie or even :::gasp::: a small stole. What do you think?

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