Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Thoughts on testing, diagnosis and the delicate balance between good and evil.

I have learned a great deal from the DASN regulars. Learned to continue to seek answers even when various physicians were not helpful or encouraging. I learned to listen to those who had gone before me, which is a big lesson in Judaism, and has come easily. I learned to balance my energy and simplify my life. To keep my life joyful and peaceful. To do what counts and leave the rest. Somehow in the midst of those wonderful lessons, I have slogged through several different doctors and diagnostic tests. This week finds me finishing something I started 2 years ago. A research study in NYC that follows people with early onset dementias. Knowing that my life is good, that I have found the way to keep managing, I truly did not want to come back to finish this study. It is disrupting the balance. It is short-lived and I am grateful for a wonderful mom who has come with me and a great wife who is managing work and full-time teenage boys while I'm gone. I do not care to stress myself out over the memory tests. I see no greater glory in enduring poor patient care and non-empathetic medical staff. I will complete this round of the study, but if contacted again, I will decline. Keeping the balance, for me, is about enjoying what is ahead of me, right in front of me. I'd rather push my cognitive reserve to get a kid to a Kendo tournament than push it to answer hours of questions and negotiation airlines and hotels in a distant city.
As Nanny McPhee said "Lesson, learned" (and the wart is going to disappear friday about 6p when I touch down in Memphis and kiss the wife and kids.)

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